The Institution of Marriage

500 words plus 500 AI background on the ecclesiastical underpinnings

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This is about the corrosive effect of the institution of marriage. It is not about kindred souls spending their lives together.

What you know: The institution of marriage is anchored in law, lending a legitimacy and status to marriage not awarded to other relationships. Not a few couples get married in order to benefit from that anchorage. If one dies suddenly, or just becomes unable to speak, the remaining spouse will wish for their status to be recognised and to be able to speak for their partner. There are material possessions to be safeguarded, for example, from inheritance taxes, not least a shared home. All of this quite separate from joint stewardship of any children. Absent marriage, in our present dispensation, fathers in particular risk losing custody of any child while still being liable for support payments.

Replacing the institution of monogamous marriage

It is assumed here that there is a need for legal safeguards, simply that these are better catered for individually rather than in the all-embracing institution of marriage. There is a need for covenants for the joint upbringing of children; and for a common household, if this is desired. Maybe more, as dealt with elsewhere at this website.

How is the institution of marriage corrosive?

The ideology of marriage claims it is about love, but in practice it often revolves around exclusion and the power which derives from the principle of exclusion. It diverts attention and credibility away from other arrangements such as mutual oligamy: https://www.character-and-ethics.com/oligamy-against-couples.html

All & sundry are coerced into accepting, faute de mieux, the dictates of marriage, and often those of divorce settlements (a honey pot for lawyers and their ilk).

Instead of recognising, and accepting, that people change, indeed should change, over the course of a score of years, the institution of marriage demands “until death,” in old age, “us do part.” It does not leave this to individual discretion, or even the necessities of changing circumstances. It assumes, on principle and without evidence, that the couple must evolve in the same direction and at the same speed.

A core motive in getting married, at least for the young, is to secure and shield their sex lives. French law prescribes a shared marriage bed, whereas many couples, especially with age, discover that it is best to sleep apart. In French law sexual fidelity is not enough. Intimate conversations with an opposite gendered person outside the marriage are equally forbidden; that is, they could be grounds for divorce. (This despite marriage known to be such a heavy burden that sometimes it needs three to bear it.)

This is how the institution of marriage comes to encourage, indeed endorse, possessiveness and the jealousy it sparks. But it is worse. In the absence of alternatives, such as legalised oligamy, it blinds people into succumbing to a world view of “one size fits all.” This is a recipe for falsehood.

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Essential Background

Ecclesiastic formulations of marriage generally focus on the union as a

covenant established by God, not merely a contract, emphasizing specific essential elements and properties that vary slightly among denominations but share core principles. 

Core Ecclesiastical Formulations

Across many Christian traditions, several key elements define the ecclesiastic view of marriage:

• Covenantal Union: Marriage is fundamentally described as a sacred covenant (foedus), a "partnership of the whole of life" (consortium totius vitae), involving a total and irrevocable mutual self-giving of the spouses. This goes beyond a secular contract, which can be broken, and is guaranteed by God's fidelity.

• Divine Origin and Indissolubility: The union of one man and one woman is instituted by God "from the beginning" and is intended to be indissoluble ("What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder"). The Church typically holds it does not have the power to contravene this divine disposition.

• The "Goods" of Marriage (Tria Bona): Drawing from St. Augustine and subsequent canon law, many formulations identify three essential goods:

  • Bonum Prolis (Good of the offspring): The natural ordering of marriage toward the procreation and education (physical, social, moral, and religious) of children.

  • Bonum Fidei (Good of fidelity): The total mutual dedication and exclusive commitment to one another, reflecting the fidelity of Christ to the Church.

  • Bonum Sacramenti (Good of the sacrament): The sacramental and permanent nature of the bond, which is a sign of God's covenantal love and an indissoluble union between baptized persons.

• Mutual Help and the "Good of the Spouses" (Bonum Coniugum): Vatican II and modern formulations have given increased emphasis to the "good of the spouses," including mutual support (mutuum adiutorium), personal growth, companionship, and emotional and spiritual well-being as an essential end of marriage.

• Consent as the Unifying Factor: Matrimonial consent, an act of the will by which a man and a woman mutually give and accept each other through an irrevocable covenant, is considered the efficient cause of marriage. The free and conscious decision to enter this permanent, exclusive union is essential for its validity. 

Variations in Different Traditions

While core principles are shared, specific legal and theological variations exist: 

• Catholic Church: Emphasizes marriage as a sacrament, a "partnership of the whole of life" defined by the tria bona and the bonum coniugum.

• Protestant Churches: The Reformation largely supplanted the strictly sacramental model with a social model, though many traditions still view marriage as a "divine covenant" or "Godly ordinance". Some denominations have moved to allow same-sex marriage, which necessitates a different definition of marriage from the traditional "one man and one woman" found in most ecclesiastical law.

• Church of England: Has distinct ecclesiastical laws regarding marriage that interact with civil law (e.g., the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013 defines a different form of civil marriage, while the Church's canon law maintains the traditional definition of Holy Matrimony as a union of one man and one woman). 

These formulations underscore the belief that marriage is not merely a human arrangement but a divine institution with inherent sacred obligations and purposes. 

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